Domestic Abuse
- Tackling Domestic Abuse in Thurrock
- What is Domestic Abuse
- Help and Support
- Sanctuary Scheme Project
- Safety Planning
Tackling Domestic Abuse in Thurrock
Within the Community Safety Partnership is the Domestic Abuse group, which brings together a number of different agencies, providing a service to those affected by domestic abuse. Agencies working in Thurrock have a clear commitment to making Thurrock a safer place to live and the partnership believes that multi-agency and proactive working will enhance the protection and improve service provision for those experiencing domestic abuse.
Domestic Abuse Delivery Group Terms of Reference April 2008 (PDF 56.7kB)
[ please see how to access PDF files ]
Our partners are:
- Thurrock Women's Aid
- Thurrock Police (South West Division)
- Thurrock Council - Housing Services, Children and Young People, Education, Disabilities services, and Community Safety
- Primary Care Trust - Health
- Victim Support
- TRUST
- Essex Fire & Rescue Services
- Essex Probation
Our Key Aims are:
- To have a multi-agency commitment to addressing domestic violence
- Increase the safety of victims of domestic abuse and their children
- Provide a coordinated response to service provision
- To hold perpetrators accountable for their own violence
- Increase awareness and reporting of domestic violence
Our Targets are to:
- Increase number of domestic violence incidents reported to the police and decrease the number of domestic violence offences
- Reduce number of repeat victims
- Increase % of cases that are detected and end up as convictions
- Improve how we score in relation to Thurrock Council's Best Value Performance Indicator on Domestic Violence www.thurrock.gov.uk/i-know/
Why we will not ignore domestic violence
Domestic violence has the highest rate of repeat victimisation of any crime. Nationally, 35% of households have a second incident within five weeks of the first
- Almost a third of domestic violence starts during pregnancy, and existing violence often escalates during it
- One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute
- On average two women per week are killed by a male partner or former partner
- Over a third of all female murder victims are killed by a current or former partner
- One in four women and one in six men will be a victim of domestic violence in their lifetime
- The Home Office Survey of midwives in 2004 revealed that 1 in 16 pregnant women seen over a five-day period was a victim of domestic abuse.
- Metropolitan Police data revealed that 70% of male offenders who had a domestic violence order against them were also perpetrators of other offences. 1 in 12 had committed sexual offences in and outside the home.
Useful Web Sites
What is Domestic abuse?
Domestic abuse is any form of physical, financial, sexual or emotional abuse between people in a close relationship. This may be intimidation through degradation, mental or verbal abuse, humiliation, depravation, systematic criticism and belittling. It may also be physical assault, sexual assault or rape.
Does this sound familiar to you?
Is your health suffering?
An abusive relationship can affect you both physically and emotionally and may leave you feeling any or all of the following:
- Tired
- Alone
- Depressed
- Needing someone to talk to
- Overwhelmed
- Unable to cope
- Ashamed
Are your children suffering?
Children living in an abusive relationship are also affected.
They may be:
- Withdrawn
- Seeking attention
- Angry
- Comfort eating
- Stealing
- Having nightmares and/or bedwetting
- Having problems at school
Take Control
Admitting to yourself and others that you are experiencing domestic abuse is an important first step in the journey towards protecting yourself and your family.
Women's aid and Victim Support can help you make a crisis plan. This is a way of feeling more in control and will help you feel more positive and improve your confidence. See our information below on Safety Planning for practical advice.
You have the right to live your life free from fear
Help and Support
Emergency Contacts
Thurrock Women's Aid
Tel:01375 845899 (24 hour service)
Women's aid can give you and your children a safe place to stay, confidential information and sources of support on all aspects of domestic violence, at any time of day or night
Advice on how to hide your tracks provided.
Womens Aid Domestic Violence Helpline
Tel: 0808 2000 247 (24 hour)
EssexPolice
Dial: 999
For Further Help and Support:
Victim Support
Victim support is an organisation set up to offer emotional support and practical advice to victims of crime, including domestic violence. The service offers:
- Free and confidential advice
- Trained volunteers to listen to you in a safe place
- Practical advice about the steps you may wish to take
- Support you in court, when necessary
Tel: 08454565 995
Broken Rainbow
National Helpline for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Domestic Abuse
Helpline Telephone No. 0300 999 LGBT (5428)
(0300 calls are the same price to call as 01/02 landlines and included as part of any inclusive call minutes)
Opening hours for the help line are:
- Monday 2pm - 8pm
- Wednesday 10 am - 1pm
- Thursday 2pm - 8pm
M.A.L.E. Mens Advice Line & Enquiries
Advice and support for men in abusive relationships
Tel: 0808 801 0327 (free to call)
Thurrock Council - Children's Services
If your children are living in an abusive situation, they are considered children in need.
Children's services will support you and your family.
Tel: 01375 652802 (office hours)
Tel: 01375 372468 (out of hours)
Thurrock Council - Housing Options Services
Staff in the Housing Options section will support you with your housing needs if you are seeking to escape domestic abuse.
Tel:01375 652820 (office hours)
Tel: 01375 372468 (out of hours)
www.thurrock.gov.uk
Thurrock Police
Thurrock police have a dedicated Domestic Violence Unit, which will provide specialised advice.
Officers will deal positively with domestic incidents and can take action to protect you from further abuse.
Tel: 0300 333 4444 Available 24 hrs (Domestic Violence Investigators are available 8am-10pm)
Directory of Services
Domestic Violence: a directory of services for Thurrock (PDF 684.7kB)
[ For PDFs see how to access PDF files ]
Sanctuary Scheme Project
The Sanctuary Scheme in Thurrock is lead by Thurrock Women's Aid. It aims to make it possible for victims to remain in their own home and feel safe. The scheme adapts the home of the victim to accommodate physical security measures that help the family feel safe.
To find out more, please visit our Sanctuary Scheme Project page.
Safety Planning - making a safety plan
A personal safety plan is a way of helping you to protect yourself and your children. It helps you plan in advance for the possibility of future violence and abuse. It also helps you to think about how you can increase your safety either within the relationship, or if you decide to leave.
You cannot stop your partner's violence and abuse - only they can do that. But there are things you can do to increase your own and your children's safety:
- Keep with you any important and emergency telephone numbers (for example, your local Women's Aid refuge organisation or other domestic violence service; the police domestic violence unit; your GP; your social worker, if you have one; your children's school; your solicitor; and the Freephone 24 Hour National Domestic Violence Helpline run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge: 0808 2000 247).
- Teach your children to call 999 in an emergency, and what they would need to say (for example, their full name, address and telephone number).
- Are there neighbours you could trust, and where you could go in an emergency? If so, tell them what is going on, and ask them to call the police if they hear sounds of a violent attack.
- Rehearse an escape plan, so in an emergency you and the children can get away safely.
- Pack an emergency bag for yourself and your children, and hide it somewhere safe (for example, at a neighbour's or friend's house). Try to avoid mutual friends or family. See the suggestions below, What to pack if you are planning to leave your partner.
- Try to keep a small amount of money on you at all times - including change for the phone and for bus fares.
- Know where the nearest phone is, and if you have a mobile phone, try to keep it with you.
- If you suspect that your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower risk area of the house - for example where there is a way out and access to a telephone. Avoid the kitchen or garage where there are likely to be knives or other weapons; and avoid rooms where you might be trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
- Be prepared to leave the house in an emergency.
Preparing to leave
If you have decided to leave your partner, it is best if you can plan this carefully. Sometimes abusers will increase their violence if they suspect you are thinking of leaving, so this can be a particularly dangerous time for you.
Plan to leave at a time you know your partner will not be around. Try to take everything you will need with you, including any important documents relating to yourself and your children, as you may not be able to return later. Take your children with you, otherwise it may be difficult or impossible to have them living with you in future. If they are at school, make sure that the head and all your children's teachers know what the situation is, and who will be collecting the children in future. See below, Protecting yourself after you have left.
Thinking about leaving and making the decision to leave can be a long process. Planning it doesn't mean you have to carry it through immediately - or at all. But it may help to be able to consider all the options and think about how you could overcome the difficulties involved. If at all possible, try to set aside a small amount of money each week, or even open a separate bank account.
What to pack if you are planning to leave your partner
Ideally, you need to take all the following items with you if you leave. Some of these items you can try to keep with you at all times; others you may be able to pack in your 'emergency bag'.
- Some form of identification.
- Birth certificates for you and your children.
- Passports (including passports for all your children), visas and work permits.
- Money, bankbooks, cheque book and credit and debit cards.
- Keys for house, car, and place of work. (You could get an extra set of keys cut, and put them in your emergency bag.)
- Cards for payment of Child Benefit and any other welfare benefits you are entitled to.
- Driving licence (if you have one) and car registration documents, if applicable.
- Prescribed medication.
- Copies of documents relating to your housing tenure (for example, mortgage details or lease and rental agreements).
- Insurance documents, including national insurance number.
- Address book.
- Family photographs, your diary, jewellery, small items of sentimental value.
- Clothing and toiletries for you and your children.
- Your children's favourite small toys.
You should also take any documentation relating to the abuse - e.g. police reports, court orders such as injunctions and restraining orders, and copies of medical records if you have them.
Protecting yourself after you have left
If you leave your partner because of abuse, you may not want people to know the reason you left. It is your decision whether or not you tell people that you have suffered domestic violence; but if you believe you may still be at risk, it might increase your safety if you tell your family and friends, your children's school, and your employer or college what is happening, so that they do not inadvertently give out any information to your ex-partner. They will also be more prepared and better able to help you in an emergency.
If you have left home, but are staying in the same town or area, these are some of the ways in which you might be able to increase your safety:
- Try not to place yourself in a vulnerable position or isolate yourself.
- Try to avoid any places, such as shops, banks, cafes, that you used to use when you were together.
- Try to alter your routines as much as you can.
- If you have any regular appointments that your partner knows about (for example, with a counsellor or health practitioner) try to change your appointment time and/or the location of the appointment.
- Try to choose a safe route, or alter the route you take or the form of transport you use, when approaching or leaving places you cannot avoid - such as your place of work, the children's school, or your GP's surgery.
- Tell your children's school, nursery or childminder what has happened, and let them know who will pick them up. Make sure they do not release the children to anyone else, or give your new address or telephone number to anyone. (You may want to establish a password with them, and give them copies of any court orders, if you have them.)
- Consider telling your employer or others at your place of work - particularly if you think your partner may try to contact you there.
If you have moved away from your area, and don't want your abuser to know where you are, then you need to take particular care with anything that may indicate your location; for example:
- Your mobile phone could be 'tracked'; this is only supposed to happen if you have given your permission, but if your partner has had access to your mobile phone, he could have sent a consenting message purporting to come from you. If you think this could be the case, you should contact the company providing the tracking facility and withdraw your permission; or if you are in any doubt, change your phone.
- Try to avoid using shared credit or debit cards or joint bank accounts: if the statement is sent to your ex-partner, he will see the transactions you have made.
- Make sure that your address does not appear on any court papers. (If you are staying in a refuge, they will advise you on this.)
- If you need to phone your abuser (or anyone with whom he is in contact), make sure your telephone number is untraceable by dialling 141 before ringing.
- Talk to your children about the need to keep your address and location confidential.
If you stay or return to your home after your partner has left, then you will probably have an occupation order or a protection order. See the Women's Aid web site: Women's Aid: getting an injunction. If the injunction has powers of arrest attached, then do make sure that your local police station has a copy, and that the police know that they need to respond quickly in an emergency.
You could also consider the following:
- Changing the locks on all doors.
- Putting locks on all windows if you don't have them already.
- Installing smoke detectors on each floor, and providing fire extinguishers.
- Installing an outside light (back and front) which comes on automatically when someone approaches.
- Informing the neighbours that your partner no longer lives there, and asking them to tell you - or call the police - if they see him nearby.
- Changing your telephone number and making it ex-directory.
- Using an answering machine to screen calls.
- Keeping copies of all court orders together with dates and times of previous incidents and call-outs for reference if you need to call the police again.
If your ex-partner continues to harass, threaten or abuse you, make sure you keep detailed records of each incident, including the date and time it occurred, what was said or done, and, if possible, photographs of damage to your property or injuries to yourself or others. If your partner or ex-partner injures you, see your GP or go to hospital for treatment and ask them to document your visit. If you have an injunction with a power of arrest, or there is a restraining order in place, you should ask the police to enforce this; and if your ex-partner is in breach of any court order, you should also tell your solicitor.
In an emergency, always call the police on 999.
